Fort Myers couple weds with family ring, exactly 100 years later

When Kendra Spriggs slips the gold ring on James Simpson’s finger Sunday, the act will not only bond the two of them, but a man and the great-grandfather he never met.

Spriggs and Simpson will marry at the barn at Buckingham Farms, a rustic, chic venue set amidst avocado trees and beds of kale and collard greens. The date will be Oct. 18, 2015, exactly 100 years from the date when Simpson’s great-grandparents, two young Polish immigrants, kids really, wed at a wood frame church in Massachusetts.

That date, 10-18-1915, is engraved inside the 14-karat gold-filled band that belonged to Simpson’s great-grandfather. It is same ring Kendra will give James. A century has worn the ring, revealing a brassy finish below its lustrous gold. The ring is not unlike the two men, who along with kinship share the physical trait of large hands.

Both have also felt the heartache of a similar tragedy, and survived.

***

One afternoon around two years ago, James Simpson and Kendra Spriggs were chatting with his family at his mom’s house in Fort Myers Shores.

“You better marry her before she finds someone else,” Simpson’s 81-year-old grandmother, Beverly Butrym, told her grandson that afternoon – or at some time before Simpson proposed.

“We already got you the ring,” said Stanley Butrym, his 87-year-old grandfather. “You don’t have to buy one.”

Stanley inherited the ring from his father, who was also named Stanley Butrym and died in 1945. Stanley is short for Stanislaw. Several years earlier, Stanley had given the ring to his daughter, Caren Simpson, because she had two sons. James was one of them. She stowed it in a velvet drawer in a jewelry box in her bedroom.

James and Kendra had been dating since 2009. James asked her out for a drink and pizza “because she was cute.” Kendra agreed, but James was a little quiet for her taste.

“At first, I was like, I don’t know about this….”

But, he soon warmed up and they discovered a mutual love of four wheelers and rodeos. James rode bulls as a teenager, mostly so he could chase cowgirls. They had been dating about three months when James bought a home in Buckingham. Kendra moved in, too.

Some months later, they found out she was pregnant. During the pregnancy, they visited Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort and saw a bride arrive in a Cinderella carriage. Someday, she told him, she’d like for them to get married there.

Their daughter, Kaylee, was born July 24, 2011. She was a happy baby with an angelic face who hardly ever cried. But she had a heart condition. At 9 months, she required surgery. Two days before surgery, Kaylee, Kendra and James had photos taken together. Those photos populate their living room that’s markedly absent of the toys of a child.

Kaylee died May 2, 2012 after going into cardiac arrest post-surgery. James and Kendra grieved their daughter but remained strong, and perhaps, grew stronger, in their love.

“I know that he’s there for me and I’m there for him,” said Kendra, now 26. James is 27.

It had been about a year since their daughter’s death when the ring came into the equation. They had made it through that devastating time. That afternoon, in his mother’s house, James tried on the ring. It fit perfectly, a surprise because he’s double-jointed. James peered inside the ring and saw the inscription. That’s the day we should get married, he said.

They rushed to the calendar and saw it would be a Sunday. That could work! Kendra groaned. It seemed so far. She suspected that’s one reason why he chose it. That’s partly true, James admits. More so, he thought it would be cool to share the ring and the day, exactly a century later.

“Not too many people, or anybody that I know, gets to have something that’s been in the family 100 years that they get to wear every day that has the same significant meaning,” he said.

“Then it got here and I’m like, ‘crap,’” he joked with his bride, who nudged him.

James officially proposed at the Grand Floridian on Aug. 30, 2014. Because she’s a 911 operator and he has a business cleaning the leftover grease in restaurant exhausts, it was beyond their means to get married there. But, at least, that could be the place she agreed to marry him.

He appreciates she puts up with his spoiled attitude, and she says, that beneath that attitude is a caring man, one who shows her his love.

For their wedding, Kendra asked people to share their own photos.

James’ mother, Caren Simpson, went to her father’s house and found the wedding photo of Mary and Stanislaw Butrym. The couple stands stiffly without smiles, the signature pose of the time. Stanislaw wears a bow tie. Caren noticed how her father had stuck a photo of his parents with their first child, a baby girl named Stephania, if she remembers correctly, next to the wedding photo. Stanislaw held the baby in a white dress on his knee.

Caren had grown up knowing her grandparents’ first child had died. The baby died around the age of 2, it’s believed, because of an illness related to a pandemic, though no one can recall what one. (There was an influenza pandemic between 1918 and 1919 that killed more people than any other outbreak in history, according to a report funded by the National Institutes of Health.)

Oh my God, Caren thought, her grandparents had faced the same pain and managed to survive as a couple. She later showed her son the photo.

“They lost her as a baby too, and not that anything takes the place, but they went on and have five healthy kids and one them is still kicking around and is still just as ornery.”

She was referring to her father.

Her son shirked at the idea of five: "I don’t know about all that."

Kendra and James have talked about having two more kids, possibly three.

“There’s been a lot of tears cried,” said Caren. “We’ve had a lot of tragedies. That makes this wedding so special that we’re able to celebrate something so joyful.”

***

Much of Stanislaw Butrym’s history was lost when he died in 1945. What remains are hazy memories of his sole surviving child, just a teen in 1945.

Stanislaw came from Poland, likely through Ellis Island, as his bride-to-be, Mary, did. Stanislaw and Mary met at a Polish picnic in Massachusetts. Mary married around age 19. Stanley imagines his father was not much older.

Stanislaw bought a bar in Worcester, where he went by “Steve.” It was a speakeasy during Prohibition. Before that, Stanislaw survived on selling fish he caught. The family spoke Polish at home and his parents never argued, at least in front of the children. When Stanley would leave the house, his father commanded, "Don’t spoil the family name."

Stanislaw became sick, but his son doesn’t know from what. Stanley and his siblings had to work to provide. He took a job pulling weeds for two cents an hour. His father became bed-ridden and his mother would carry Stanislaw, not a small man, up the stairs. He died in his fifties. Stanley later inherited his wedding band.

Stanley sees at least one similarity between his grandson and father.

“They’re not scared of hard work,” he said.

“I hope he don’t buy a barroom,” Beverly said. They both laughed.

***

James is not the type to over-sentimentalize, but he does see a shade of himself in the 100-year-old ring. “It’s rough and dirty-looking.” He’s never really worn jewelry. Grease is packed below his nails, which he assures, is normal.

Maybe this is why his mother is considering buying him a mock ring. For now, she’s trusting the character of the man she’s watched him become.

“As rough and tough as a guy as he is, he’s got a heart of gold,” Caren said. “He’s knows what he’s got there, literally, on his hand.”